Nursery Place and the scar

We had the letter in the post this morning telling us that Hannah has been accepted for a morning place at nursery for next September - hurrah! Even better, so have her friends Caitlin (why does she have a friend with the same name as her sister?), Alfie and Aoife.

Hannah has been enjoying pre-school. Every time she goes she tells me she has "made lots of new friends" so she is obviously a social butterfly!

Today Hannah noticed her scar for the first time - she has been completely oblivious to it up until now. She was complaining of an itchy tummy and suddenly spotted it as we were rubbing her Vitamin E cream in. "What's that?" she asked. "Is it a band?"

"No, that's your scar." I said. "The doctors had to make a hole in your tummy when you were a baby to fix it."

"Why did the doctors have to fix my tummy?"

"Because it didn't work properly"

"Why didn't it work properly?"

I struggled with putting that one in her terms. Eventually I settled with

"Because you were yellow"

"But why did they have to fix it?"

"Because otherwise you would have got more and more poorly. That's why the doctors check your tummy and your arm [Hannah calls a blood test 'checking her arm'], to make sure you are not getting poorly again"

"I know THAT!"

End of conversation for now. I knew I would have to deal with questions about this one day, but hoped I could put it off as long as possible. It's only going to get harder as she gets older and more articulate. I've always tried to be very honest with my kids, particularly about things which are unpleasant. Not brutal, but honest. If they are getting a vaccination, I tell them. Not days in advance, so they can work themselves into a frenzy, but a couple of hours, so they have time to discuss the forthcoming unpleasant event and prepare themselves a little. Far preferable in my book to someone grabbing them and sticking a needle in them without warning. I don't tell them it won't hurt either. I tell them it will hurt a little bit, and they might cry, but it will be over quickly and then they can have a sweet. So when Hannah starts to ask more about her illness, I will have answer her honestly within the bounds of her age. And Caitlin too, and that breaks my heart just as much. The girls fight a great deal but also have a wonderful bond and love each other very openly and very dearly.

Hannah's grandad (my dad)is in hospital at the moment with an undiagnosed heart problem. Also my dear friend Amanda is undergoing life saving surgery today. And some of our other friends at Liver Families are also having very difficult times at the moment with children in serious or critical condition. They are all very much at the front of my mind today.

(Perhaps the last paragraph is an indication that I am ready to start back on my own blog..)